Encouraging the School to Treat Your Child as an Individual
This month in Education Support 4 Parents we are focusing on improving our children’s mental health. We are doing this by working through the Skills4Parents values of individuality, self belief, self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence. This week we have been thinking about our children as individuals and how we can encourage the school to treat them that way.
When I was a secondary school teacher I would see over 100 children a week and it was so difficult to know each child really well. If a parent contacted me regularly, the student chatted to me, or they were badly behaved, then I would get to know them better. But it was impossible to know every child inside out. That’s why I believe we need to do what we can to help teachers know our children.
Here are some of my top tips that you can action:
Tell a teacher one thing that is working for your child
Rather than leaving it until there is something bad to say, be proactive and contact a teacher with something that they are doing well, so that they keep doing it. Maybe it’s their style of teaching,or that they are checking your child understands, or a game they played. Look out for one thing your child comes home with that they are positive about and drop the teacher a message to say how well it works and thank them for the work they are doing. This links in well with a blog post I wrote about communicating with school.
Create an ‘about me’ profile
Monzo bank recently did this by asking their employees to a create a ‘working with me’ document, it was a short document which told people what they were good at, what they were not good at and the best ways to work with them.
Other things you could include:
- Their learning styles and how the teacher can help them (for example for a visual learner, allowing them to mind-map or highlight their work. If you are not sure what learning style get my free VARK guide here
- Anything about communication, for example ‘when I’m listening to you, I won’t look at you as I find that painful’, ‘I am very shy and won’t tell you my opinion in front of others, please can you ask me in private’
- Ways the teacher can support your child. For example, ‘I sometimes need something to fiddle with to help me concentrate’
- You could personalise it for each subject with topics that your child enjoys and topics that your child struggles with
I heard of a school recently that is implementing this, and I think it’s such a good idea. By having all the ‘most important things’ on a page, it gives the child a chance to give their teacher a snapshot of their life.
Celebrate your child as an individual
Our system can be so impersonal, with some teachers (not their fault) expecting children to all be the same, behave the same, learn in the same way and make the same amount of progress. When we start putting people into the same box, we break them. Therefore it’s important we allow them to be an individual and celebrate those things. If your child is not academic but is practical, celebrate the wonderful things they make, or do. Allow them to follow the education pathway that suits them. Next week is National Apprenticeship Week, and we need to amplify the conversation around all pathways to employment being equal, and celebrate.
Over the next few weeks we will continue along the theme of mental health, with actionable strategies, to help you work with your child. There is a crisis of mental health in young people, it is part of the reason I left teaching, as I didn’t like what the education system was doing. I hope that you will join me in being part of the change.
As Winnie the Pooh says:
‘The things that make me different are the things that make me me.’