Expert Tips for Dealing with Issues in School

Is it STILL September? It must be, because we are knee deep in my deep dive on communicating with school! As Head of Maths for 11 years, I was on the receiving end of many angry parents, and mediated between teachers and young people. So today I thought I’d use some of what I learnt to help you navigate the choppy waters of dealing with issues.

Remember there are two sides to every story

Whatever your child tells you something, you are getting one side of the coin. Find out the situation from the other person’s perspective. Often, the truth lies somewhere in between. Sometimes an issue occurs because both sides aren’t seeing things in quite the same way. Make sure you listen to both parties and don’t make hasty assumptions.

Think about the outcome

When things aren’t right, or you have something to complain about, what do you want the result to be? I had a manager once who said ‘don’t bring me problems, bring solutions’. You can apply that to this situation. If you are able to communicate an outcome, or the way you want something changed then you are more likely to see results.

Be realistic

When there is an issue, consider if it is within the school’s remit. I remember the time I was asked to sort out a problem that happened outside of school hours and not on school property. That’s not really realistic, and takes the focus away from learning. Also, teachers are likely to be dealing with lots of children, and you need to consider if the issue is something that can really be dealt with in the way you want.

Discuss the impact it is having on your child 

Often young people will seem to cope during school hours, but the result of the issue they are having appears at home, like a bottle of Coke that has been shaken all day. When you uncap it, it goes everywhere – and the same concept applies to your children. You need to find ways of explaining this to the teacher. If your young person is articulate, you might want to get them to write down their feelings, so that you can share it with the school. 

Teachers are human beings who care for young people, so when they realise the impact they will help find solutions.

Say thank you

If the school dealt with the issue in a way that was helpful, give praise where praise is due. You are likely to be remembered not as a parent who complains but a parent who thanks. A parent who goes out of their way to express their appreciation will have a positive impact on the teacher and the school, which ripples out positively.

For more specific help, education advice, and tips on communicating with school, come and join my free Facebook group Education Support 4 Parents. For more pressing or personalised issues, I offer a 15-minute chat, and a 1-hr education advice call. See here for more details.