How to be The Parent Who Gets What They Want
In my 16 years in education I came across so many different parents. Some were really involved in their child’s education, where others left it up to the school. It became obvious to me that there were some parents who were successful at getting what they wanted for their child. It all came down to how they were communicating with school – and it wasn’t all verbal. Using what I saw, I’ve put together five tips to help you be the parent who gets what they want.
Get involved
There are a variety of ways you can get involved with your child’s education. This is about building relationships and showing that you are supportive. Some will require time and skills for example being a parent governor, or helping in class. Others might be connections, for example could a class visit your place of work? Could your HR manager help with mock interview day? Whatever you can offer, schools love it when parents are involved.
Compliment and criticise
We all love compliments – so make sure you give them out. Thank a teacher for going the extra mile, or for looking out for your child. Give them a welcoming smile when you approach at parents’ evening. You could even tell them something your child likes about them.
It’s important though that this isn’t about fake praise. It is important that when things need improvement, you point them out. If you can do it in a supportive way, with solutions, you are more likely to get results. See the previous blog post for more thoughts about this.
If a teacher isn’t listening, take it higher
Sometimes a teacher has their own issues, and may be struggling. After all they are another human being who is complex, and has their own life and struggles to deal with. If that’s the case, their manager and the school need to be helping. That’s not an excuse though to not listen to you, and sometimes it just needs someone senior involved for your voice to be heard. There are ways that you can do this, by being assertive without being stroppy when communicating with school. Give your perception, and state that you would like to understand more. Emphasise that you want to work together to improve the situation.
Work with the ethos and values of the school
Hopefully you chose this school for your child because its ethos fits yours. Find out the school values (often on the website) and refer to this when you communicate with them and reinforce them at home. Find out if the school teach different ways of learning and growth mindset. Then you can work with your young person on this at home.
The school will love that you are reflecting school values and learning with your young person, and it will help your young person succeed.
Understand the whys
When we understand why the school does something in a particular way we find that we can work with it better. Ask questions and make an effort to understand so that you demonstrate that you are listening to them. If that doesn’t meet your needs then you can assertively explain why that is, and see if you can work with the way the school is doing things.
Remember getting what you want is about communicating with school positively and effectively, building relationships and having mutual understanding.
I’d love to know what from this list you’ve had to implement. Come and join us in Education Support 4 Parents and share. If you need more support you can book a 15-minute call with me, or for more in-depth help, I offer a 1-hour advice call with support.